


Slumbering Lawns

by HagMoon



Series: 50 Words for Snow [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers AU, Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff, Other, couple fights, gender neutral reader, past trauma, potential break up, winter theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HagMoon/pseuds/HagMoon
Summary: Reader reflects in dealing with Loki after a strenuous argument.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Series: 50 Words for Snow [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773178
Kudos: 40





	Slumbering Lawns

**Author's Note:**

> A continuation of my Loki x Reader series following the theme of winter.   
> Mega Angst and Mega Fluff included!

The argument had escalated in a very ugly manner, leaving both you and Loki in a very difficult position. Fights among the both of you wasn’t rare, in fact, it was a way to problem solve through the obstacles of a relationship between a human and a Norse God. In the past, both you and Loki were able to come to a mutual solution, usually coming from his irrational fear of losing you and destroying the only thing holding him onto this world.

This time the wound burned deeply, and a voice in your head had finally shouted out to the truth of the matter. It was impossible to maintain a relationship with Loki, not because of the baggage he had brought with his history, but because he still refused to let go of his own mistakes, turning his inner turmoil against you.

You inquiry about his home, the long forgotten Asgard, and the nostalgia attached to it where the final nail on the coffin during this season. Winter was an especially lonely time for Loki, bringing up unwanted memories of the past. You bringing it up, his mother of all things, caused his collapse.

He called you a fool, and a pest for thinking you could do anything to fill the vast void in himself. He was a lost cause, and you were just to stupid to think otherwise, or to possibly even consider the possibility of ‘fixing’ him for all his past mistakes.

He was Loki, and he was _all_ of his mistakes together.

You retreated from the tense situation and made it clear you both needed much space...for an indefinite time.

The walk to your home felt heavier and emptier with each step through the icy sidewalk. You pondered whether it was really your intention to ‘fix’ him, or to have even considered a chance of him even changing. You certainly had deep feelings for him, but perhaps you weren’t strong enough to deal with what it all implied. You were just human, giving easily into escapism and the emotions associated.

Your head spun and the wind pierced your wet eyes. You battled within yourself, but one thing continued to be clear among all the running thoughts. You desperately wanted to be with him.

That night, your home felt even emptier, with only the sound of snowflakes falling gently upon piles and piles on your lawn. You laid on your bed, not even bothering to change out of you coat and boots, still stuck in time. Tears streamed down your face, but you did not make a single sound.

Damn, you never thought Loki would have affected you this much.

You laid still for hours, the night passing by you in blinks and sighs. A hue of whiteness reflected from your window, enticing your curiosity a bit. The snow outside must have laid flat finally.

You mustered all your strength to pull yourself out of bed to peek outside. You were tremendously heavy, but the weight was instantly lifted upon the sight out on your small lawn.

A figure, out in the distance, in total dark. It contrasted against the white blanket and upon further inspection, you began to make out a familiar shape.

You swore your heart stopped. There he was, standing in a dark coat, out on the frozen garden. He was immobile, but even you could tell he was placing himself in a very vulnerable position. Was he waiting for you? Only one way to find out.

You ran outside, the snowfall beginning once more, much more gentler. You did not hesitate, leaving your door ajar, almost tripping and falling on your face. There was only one sight for you within the dust and swirls, one you knew needed you as much as you needed him.

Loki was there, and he was entirely broken again. His face was no longer stern, or proud, or confident. It was grieving, it was sullen, and it was hurt. And then he called out for you name, and your heart ached further.

You practically rammed into him, wrapping your arms around him in a tight and desperate hug. You buried your face into his chest, his rapidly beating chest and did your best to hold back any anger and resentment you had for him. It was not the time for that.

“I was awful to you. I took out everything that was building up again on you. Even if you are unable to forgive me, know from the bottom of my being that I am deeply, deeply ashamed that I hurt you so much.”

His voice was low, but it was broken as well. You had never heard Loki speak with such dejection and guilt. You questioned again whether you were up to the challenge, whether you were capable of being able to help him cope with his grief and his torment.

You simply hugged him tighter, knowing he was genuine with both you and himself at the moment. 

“I’m so happy you’re here. I missed you.” You replied, breathing deeply.

“No, you must hate me. I can’t-”

“No, Loki. I’m miserable when you’re not around. Please understand that.” There was more anger in your voice, but the sentiment was true.

He hummed softly, finally wrapping his own arms around your frame, slightly swinging back and forth along with you. He rested his chin upon your head, watching the spectacle of dancing snow engulf the both of you.

“I’m also miserable when you’re not there.”


End file.
